Thursday, January 04, 2007

The year that was

Well, the year 2007 just commenced, and through the last year I have seen scores of movies [Lost count quite some time back]. I take this opportunity to share my thoughts about 3 bollywood products which shaped the face of Bolly cinema’s 2006.

3. Tom Dick and Harry

Well… well.. well… what happens when 3 immensely talented actors who fail to cope up with the expectations of their respective directors having all their senses intact are deprived of 1 sense per head??!!
Rent the dvd of this movie if you have not seen this to find out!
This movie [groggily inspired by the likes of Masti and Kya kool hain hum] falls under the “Leave your brains back at home” genre of films and after having watched this you will probably realize that :
  • Brains are the one and only medium which can get you “up and ahead in life”. [Having/Not having a few senses don’t ever matter]
  • Soooper-brainy, witty and intelligent anecdotes and fighting skills [Provided aplenty by the tenacious trio] are all that you need to win pretty damsels like Celina.{Ohh LA LA}.
  • In case nothing works, you can always back on the nasal crooner[read. HIMESSSSSSSS]. A few surreal lines like “Dil mein macha di tune dhoom” should be more than sufficient to attain nirvana.

All in all another Must-See from the mega-hit production of Deepak Tijori who has been churning in one hit after another year after year. After having explored fascinatingly varied and novel topics like call-boys [OOPS!] , sexually driven murder mystery [Fareb], Mr Tijori tries his hand at this highly un-explored genre [raunchy comedy] and as always excels to the E.

2. Teesri Aankh [THE HIDDEN CAMERA]

There are pro’s and con’s to everything as they say. If technological advancements and scientific break through’s have made life more comfortable, there are people like Harry Baweja who will use these technologies as the topics for their movies to challenge the comforts in our lives!!!!

As the ever so corny angreji catchline of the movie suggests, this movie is about hidden camera’s. Now make a wild guess what this camera shoots….???
But obvious, Himesh [The chamiya] enjoying a bubble bath and crooning away to glory… “tanhaiyaaaan.. aaaaaaa.. tan haiiiiiiiiiii yaaaaaaaannnnnn”.
Actually this is a cult movie that researches the reason behind the loneliness that people generally feel when they tend to cover the dandruff on their scalp with a cap and suffer from nose-o-song(ia) mania.
So the hero of our movie Mukesh Rishi, sets up hidden cameras in all the loo’s that chamiya bathes in. He minutely observes his actions, takes down copious notes and is on course to preparing a thesis that shall rock the basic roots of science, philosophy, religion, morality and Surooorology.
However, Mr villain {sunny paji) has other ideas. He is the middle class bred, traditionally valued khaki clad cop who believes that the public notions about certain aspects should not be messed with. Hence to prevent the blasphemous findings of Rishi that might inspire the bubbling youth of the country to don denim caps, bend their necks 45 degress to the horizontal axes and go crooooning “OOOOOOOOOOOOOO” in the shower room’s, sunny paji embarks on a mission to stop the man.
What follows is a roller-coaster ride through from the chawls of Mumbai to the under-world of London. After having single-handedly mauled half of the London cops and the entire gang of Rishi, sunny paji manages to get his hands on the thesis and chamiya as well. Wanna know what happens next???
Rent the DVD. This is a must see.
Harry Baweja does an excellent job as usual. He also ropes in Neha Dhupia for a small comic role. Neha has stated that “I did Teesri Aankh because of Harry Baweja.”
Wow… wish I was in Harry’s shoes.

1. Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna
“Gali gali main shor hai.. dil ne manga more hai… KANK ne aj release kiya…. Dhoom dhamaka macha diya!”

Well this was the general feeling when KANK was released and wooo-hoooo.. did this movie live up to it’s expectations or what!
This movie deals with the pains that cricketers have to go through when they lose their place in the playing 11 and then the playing squad and finally even their zone squad.
The story goes something like this:
Once upon a time there was a cricketer [SRK] who was captain of the Indian team and was a match-winner [Always tended to score the winning runs with a huge 6]. He had a perfectly happy and gay relationship with his deputy [played by Small B] and they were taking their national team to new heights. But kabooooom!!! Inclusion of foreign coach [Played by Sexy Sam] and things suddenly started to go awry. Sam loved small B and wanted him all to himself. He didn’t like SRK getting up close and personal with him [lets call him SB]. He had noticed that every time his team got a wicket, SRK had invented a new method of getting to SB… the great team huddle. Each time SRK would put his arms around the waists of SB and slowly work his fingers up as long as the cameras in the stadium were busy shooting the departing batsman. Hence he sets up a plan with the higher authorities and got SRK out of the team…. and the the squad.
Now Sam had SB all to himself. He curbed all possibilities that SB had created to introduce some heterogeneous love in his life. Whenever SB was linked to any female, Sam went ahead and did things in public which ensured that SB had no further chance [Read.. Kissing Rani in the dark (Black); Lewd dance sequnces with Ash(BnB)]
However, soon he realizes that he has “Lund-engivitis”. A deadly disease that is seen in males due to overflow of seminal fluids without external aid. On his death-bed he realizes what a fool he’s been and he call’s SB and delivers the most priceless dialogue of the movie:
“"Mohabbat aur maut - donon bin bulaye mehmaan hote hain...”
However it’s too late for senti and he withers away into oblivion automatically causing SRK to be ushered back into the national side. The “Milan” of SRK and SB has been very aesthetically and beautifully immortalized in the camera lenses by the director with the song in the background going… “Kabhi Alvidaaaa na Kehnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa”.
This will bring tears to the eyes of even the most “patthar dil insaaan”!
Hence the the protagonists of the movie play together happily ever after and win laurels for their national team.
Please don’t rent a DVD of this movie and abuse it…. Go to the local Music-World store and BUY IT! This excellent once in a decade movie ought to be in the showcase of every movie lover. Period.
[Disclaimer: Any resemblance to any person living/dead or non-living is purely intended.]

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

Saw this movie named "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" yest...

It is one helluva movie about drugs and contraband. In fact, it can be read as a savage elegy on the utopian expectations of the 1960s drug culture.This film is so bizarre you might just want to put down the bong and get high from this movie (after all, the movie contains every single known drug known to man since 1544).
Quote Unquote:

We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half-full of cocaine and a whole galaxy of multicolored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. But the only thing that worried me was the ether. There is nothing more irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we would be getting into that rotten stuff sooner or later.

This film is the ultimate encyclopedia about various types of drugs like Cocaine, Ether, Mescaline, Grass, Acid and the list goes on and on!!

Basically a film about two guys.. Johnny Depp [Raoul Duke],an oddball journalist and his Samoan Attorney Benecio Del Toro[Dr Gonzo]. The movie also has special app's by Tobey Maguire[A HitchHiker] and Cameron Diaz[A Blond T.V. Reporter].

As they travel to las vegas on a series of psychedelic escapades, they keep doing all kinds of drugs, they hallucinate and imagine things and situations one cant even think of visualising in his worst nightmares or the best dreams!!
Well it's one of those movie's that you should watch if and only if:
1. You like serious Cult movies
2. You are a Johnny Depp addict
3. You prefer movies having subtle dark underlying humor.[Absolutely in contrast to Jim Carrey genre of humor]

But all in all I believe this is one strange, vicious, funny, dramatic masterpiece.
One parting quote from this Roller-Coaster:

Gonzo: [After cocaine blows away in the wind] Did you see what GOD just did to us man!
Duke: God didn't do that, you did! You're a fucking narcotics agent, I knew it. That was our cocaine you fucking pig, scum [swats at him with fly swatter] Pig, swine, whore!
Gonzo: [Pointing gun at Duke] Careful. There are plenty of buzzards out here, they'll pick your bones dry in no time.
Duke: You whore...
Gonzo: (holding up some acid) He he heeee, here's your half of the Sunshine Acid, EAT IT!
Duke: Yeah, all right sure. How long do I have?
Gonzo: As your attorney I advise you to drive at top speed and it'll be a Goddamn miracle if we get there before you turn into some kind of wild animal. Are you ready for that? Checking into a Las Vegas hotel under a phoney name with the intent to commit capital fraud on a head full of acid? I certainly hope so...


[Ps: Doing Drugs is absolutely illegal.. and I in no way support the consumption of drugs. Once u see this movie, you'll realize the far-reaching ill-effects of doing any kind of illegal drug]

I raise a toast to De-Tox ing our society :)